Every dog owner understands the joy of seeing their buddy interact with the world. Allowing strangers to pat your dog, however, can be a decision with both benefits and drawbacks. While every dog is unique, understanding the possible outcomes is crucial for both your dog’s comfort and safety. This post will explore the ins and outs of this choice and hopefully ensure a positive experience for everyone involved.
The Pros and Cons
Social interactions form an important part of our dogs’ lives, affecting their future behaviour and how they perceive the human world. When it comes to allowing strangers to pat or interact with your dog, it’s a decision that has both advantages and disadvantages. Consider both so you can make educated decisions.
The Benefits
Allowing strangers to pat your dog can have several positive outcomes.
- It can be a great way to socialize your dog, making them more comfortable and confident around new people. This exposure can help reduce fear and anxiety around unfamiliar people and situations, resulting in a well-rounded and sociable canine.
- These interactions can serve as great training opportunities. You can teach your dog valuable life skills and reinforce good manners such as resilience, resisting temptations and practicing self-control and respect for their own and others’ personal space.
- Interacting with strangers can also enhance the bond between you and your dog. When you manage these interactions effectively, it reinforces your role as the leader and protector, building trust.
- It can be a bridge for social interaction for the human! Dogs are a fantastic conversation piece and we have observed that so many owners rely on their dogs to support themselves socially. It’s much easier to strike up a conversation if you have a dog! Especially a cute one! We fully understand the positive feels when other people compliment and focus on your dog and how easy it is to connect in this way.
The Drawbacks
One of the main reasons why we advise owners to be discerning when choosing who they allow to pat their dogs is the possible expectation and association it creates – depending how it is done.
- When you let others pat your dog when they are overly excited or jumping, it sends a message to your dog that this behaviour is acceptable. And let’s face it, most people these days adore dogs and say hello in a very stimulating way, complete with high pitched voices and lots of fussing. They usually also mostly ignore the human and go straight for the dog, sending a powerful message to the dog about who is more important! This scenario can quickly become problematic when you also then expect your dog to be calm and well-behaved around people at other times.
- Allowing your dog to get revved up and fussed over by everyone they meet causes an emotional association which can quickly lead to bigger and faster hyperactive reactions when they see people approaching. They can start to anticipate and feel entitled to attention. This can be a huge distraction during walks or training sessions, hindering progress and reinforcing unwanted behaviours. It will also likely show up when you try to go to a café or have guests over!
- Another concern is the violation of personal boundaries. Just like people, dogs have their own comfort zones regarding their personal space. By allowing strangers to breach this space without your dog’s consent (or yours), it can create anxiety and stress, leading to fear or even aggression in some cases. In their mind, if you fail to protect their boundaries, they will lose trust in you and start to protect themselves. If this happens repeatedly it can erode the trust in your relationship and make them more reactive or withdrawn over time.
- Being touched or stared at by members outside of their own pack can be overwhelming for certain dogs, especially in busy, strange or loud environments. This overstimulation can lead to distress, making it hard for them to relax or listen to your commands. This can quickly have a ripple effect and make the whole walk unmanageable.
Remember, it’s your dog and your decision, no-one has a right to pat your dog just because they want to.
Managing Approaches from Strangers
Politely but firmly declining unwanted approaches from strangers can be challenging. Remember not to be apologetic! In no other situation is it ok to violate someone’s personal space or touch their family members without consent and your dog is part of your family. We have created a culture where it’s seen as normal to randomly pat and fuss over other people’s dogs and in our opinion it’s not healthy. Be discerning and at least put some structure and thought into it in the same way you do for yourself or your kids.
If you’re finding it hard to say no, here are some strategies to navigate these situations:
1. Polite Refusal: A simple, “I’m sorry, but we’re in training right now,” or “Please don’t approach her, she is feeling nervous today,” offers an explanation without being rude.
2. Control your Space: Keep your dog close to you and keep yourself positioned in the front of and between your dog and others when walking or sitting down. This does 2 things – 1. Your dog will feel buffered and notice that you have taken on the role of protection and decision making and 2. Other people and dogs are now forced to have to enter your space and go ‘through you’ to approach your dog which is far less likely than if you have your dog exposed or available out in front of you. We find this physical barrier is very effective and will usually discourage unwanted interactions.
3. Visual Cues: Consider using a vest or leash that clearly indicates your dog’s status, such as ‘in training’ or ‘nervous dog’. These visual cues can help deter people without having to say anything and can also be something to point and refer to.
If someone insists on approaching despite your initial refusal, calmly reiterate that your dog requires space or is in training, and their cooperation is appreciated. Your priority is your dog’s wellbeing and comfort – it’s okay to assertively set boundaries to protect them from uncomfortable or potentially harmful interactions.
In Conclusion
Deciding whether or not to allow people you don’t know to pet your dog is not just a matter of personal preference – it’s about being a responsible owner and ensuring the good conduct and wellbeing of your dog. Don’t forget that every dog is different, with their unique personality and comfort levels. While it’s of course okay to be friendly and social, setting boundaries is not just a sign of respect for your pet and others, but it’s also teaching them how to interact successfully in a human world. Let your behaviour communicate that their well-being is paramount, affirming that in the presence of strangers, they can rely on you to both give direction and feel safe and valued.
