How can I get my Dog to Listen to Me around Distractions?
If your dog isn’t taking you seriously around the big stuff, chances are you’re not nailing the small, every day stuff.
So many owners reach out for help regarding their dog ignoring them around big distractions when out and about, and say they are confused as at home they’re pretty perfect.
It’s not simply how smart or trainable your dog is that will determine how much control you have, it’s your relationship and who you are to your dog. Are you perceived as their best friend? Or as the leader?
The fact that you don’t mind that you aren’t seen as an authority figure is fine, but it’s why.
Becoming someone they easily defer to starts with consistent effort around the small daily things, so it becomes second nature for them to look to you when there is a decision to be made. If you have been largely living with your dog like you are besties, don’t expect them to suddenly take you seriously or give you priority when you suddenly or occasionally want it. How would you feel if your co-worker or mate suddenly tried to boss you around or tried to stop you eating that cookie?
These are some common examples of where you may be giving control away:
When out walking on lead, who decides when your dog gets to stop, sniff or change sides? Do you allow your dog to choose this?
At home, who
– decides when or if they get up on the furniture?
– initiates play and affection?
– decides who greets guests first?
– decides the energy level your dog has inside?
– decides when your dog is inside or outside?
-what areas or items your dog has access to?
If your lifestyle and ‘parenting’ style allows your dog to cruise around making their own decisions most of the time and without running their decisions through you first, you run the risk of creating a dog who sees themselves as equal in ‘rank’. This means that they have no obligation whatsoever to let you over-ride their decision in other areas such as when they bark at a dog, or don’t want to come back when you call. Too much freedom can backfire.
If you’re struggling, I suggest striving for a balance. Try adding more rules and boundaries into the mix rather than focusing on taking existing privileges away. The aim is to get your dog to look to you for guidance and direction rather than always making decisions themselves. This has 2 huge benefits – you’ll instill strong positive habits and also reassure them that they have a strong upline they can follow and depend on.
Here are some lifestyle examples of what you can practise daily:
- regularly ask your dog to go to a bed or mat and remain there until invited off
- adding purpose and structure to your walks (think classroom and playtime) and only allowing sniffing and stopping when you give permission
- make the kitchen out of bounds when you’re cooking
- insist your dog is calm and waits for permission before saying hello to guests or other dogs
- you should decide when they are inside or outside (consider restricting the use of your doggy door at least sometimes)
- not allowing them to follow you around constantly
- initiating affection and play on your terms, not when they bug you for it
- controlling the energy levels in your home eg high energy is outside, inside is calm
The key is to get your dog familiar with doing stuff he doesn’t really want to do easily and with little to no resistance. Overriding his decision with your own has to be familiar and easy for them. If he can’t stay on his bed while you are watching TV, it makes sense that he won’t have the ability or make an effort to control himself at the park. And so on.
Good luck and remember as always, good habits start with us and flow through to our dogs.
